I should like to preface the following text by saying that I am not attempting to present a perfect or extremely integral argument in support of my position. These are notes on what I have personally seen and experienced. This text is likely very well critiquable. This is purely my opinion on the matter.
I have, for a long time now, longed for romantic love. I have written about it in my journal several times, and the pain of lacking in it is an excruciating one. Romance, indeed to many in our era, appears dead. After all, what is the point of romantic love in a society so alienated even from communal love, that is, a society without love for your neighbour?
I believe that the “root”, per se, of the issues regarding romance in the modern age is an issue of the secularisation of the modern age. Many have drawn the conclusions that the issue of a lack of true romance in our era is a result of one gender being perceivably “evil”, presenting itself as misogyny in men and misandry in women, and there are those, though a smaller minority than the former, who believe that the issue is that they have not shown enough respect or care to the other gender and that is why they fail to find romance (this often leading to autogynephilia in men and autoandrophilia in woman when this thought is present, in of itself leading to transgenderism). Both the former and the latter are incorrect positions to hold, and both have purely created from poor experiences held by individuals. The actual cause is societal.
In the culture of liberalism, it is said that society should push for gender equality. However, what liberal or “bourgeois” society has actually presented us with is gender equity. Do not confuse the two, for if we were to have gender equality then things would be more righteous than they are, no, gender equity has led to an attempt to create a balance between both masculine and feminine aspects in society which is unnatural. The two genders are equal in their creation by God, as He made them both for specific purposes; men for protection and women for procreation — this is not to say, as some feminists may like to claim, a view wherein women are “objects” or lesser than men, as they are not, but they are biologically those who carry children, with men being the ones who traditionally are to protect both their wives individually and the “tribe”, as they initially emerged, but nowadays the family and nation. This is not to say that men and women cannot take on certain duties that the other would stereotypically hold, for instance, there have been many female militants and fighters who are indeed due respect and it is adverse on the growth of a child to not have a present father figure, and therefore it should be the duty of fathers to participate in the upbringing of children.
In gender equity, women, who have indeed been mistreated at the hands of men before, and there is no denying this, attempt to bring about a perceived “equal” society wherein they gain the exact same duties as men and operate independently of men. In fact, it has become so commonplace for women to dress in masculine attire that it may even be considered out-of-place or formal for a woman to dress in feminine attire. Women seek power that is held by men, which leads to a culture wherein women and men are forced to diametrically oppose one another in life, and both parties suffer from it.
This “gender equity” is only a part of the issue, not the complete issue. The other issue is individualism. In a society based around individualism and freedom of association, people begin to view relationships as things which will purely benefit them, things that they will not have to make sacrifices for. This false notion leads to a decay in the values of mutual support and love which relationships are made around, as, even though it is only two individuals in a relationship, it is still a “collective” matter. Therefore, individuals believe that they will exist by themselves and with themselves, and that their relationships are purely for their own purposes. This prevents a true union between two individuals, because they both believe that they exist above, or beyond, any collective in society.
For true romance to flourish, two people must be in love, to be willing to sacrifice everything for their partner, and willing to lead a life where they support one another and are equal despite differences in their inherent “roles”. So long as people are not willing to accept this and they remain divided, so too will romance never be.